Introduction to the Staff

November 30, 2012

Each day is still a little struggle but with each small struggle, I get closer and closer to my first official day as a full-time elementary PE teacher and turn those struggles into stepping stones. Today, at the end of the day, the principal called a brief meeting. It literally lasted about 5 minutes but within that 5 minutes I was introduced as the "new, highly qualified, certified physical education teacher!" -- there was a lot of applause going on which made me feel good, and I even heard some cheers in the crowd. A lot of the teachers and even some of the students asked me all day today if I was the new teacher. I wasn't sure when the news was to be given so I just answered with "Uh, I'm not sure" and went about my day. Turns out, today was the day for the news to break out.

I have been subbing for the past two days and with each new person I have met, I feel a very strong, positive welcoming from everyone - especially from the principals. Everyone seems very excited to have me there working with them and that's a pretty great feeling. The kids I had in class today were the same groups of kids I had yesterday. I must have made a good impression on them because I got a lot of hugs from Kindergarten and first grade today, which obviously is also another pretty good feeling. My supervisor stopped by today to see how I was doing and watched me with my first class. It was a very informal observation and afterwards I had a little bit of down time so we went and spoke with the principals in regards to the schedule that I was given. As we stood in the hall and talked, my supervisor mentioned that she understood the struggle I was facing (which we have talked about before) and said "Oh yeah, I was going home at least once a month." The principal then said "Oh I was going home every 2 weeks and I am from New York! I spent the first 7 years of my career in Maryland by myself, with no family anywhere near. Sure I have a family now, but I had NO ONE for 7 years." The assistant principal is from Maryland so she's good...but the principal said "After my second year I told my family 'uh uh, if you wanna see me, now you have to come to me' and they did." The principal then went on to say, "everyone in the building is like a big family, and we're all here to help you and make you feel welcome. I think you're really going to like it here."

Throughout the day, I noticed how much work I'm really in for: the equipment room (and the equipment) is a mess and needs inventoried, the structure of the PE classroom is atrocious, and not all but some of the kids have a hard time following instructions. I noticed that 4th and 5th grade are entirely TOO competitive for their ages. So now I have to find ways to get them to see and understand that PE isn't about competition; it's about learning to do new, exciting and fun activities and skills that they can hold on to for a lifetime! The past two days, I was pretty lax with them but that certainly will all change on Monday. There's a new sheriff in town!

I did meet with the outgoing teacher which was a little strange but he was a nice guy. He shared some things with me that I kind of tuned out because I didn't want to hear about his bad experiences. I mean, I'm not sure if he wanted me to agree with him or not but I just keep saying "hmm" each time he mentioned something. I've got the ropes now sir, don't worry. I just wish you all could see the shape of the equipment and the equipment room...bah!

Ah, I did find out that I will have a part time PE teacher working with me...how awesome is that? If I recall correctly the principal told me that every Wednesday the part time teacher will be there and that he is to completely take over classes for that day. So I guess Wednesday we'll see what happens. This weekend will be spent creating rules and consequences posters to post throughout the gymnasium as little reminders. And Monday and Tuesday will be spent trying to get each class to fully understand what is expected of them from here on out. They will find out Monday that I am their new teacher.

Now that I'm getting ready to lay my head down, this is another time during the day when I have a million things running through my mind. I'm obviously here for the rest of this year, there's no doubting that. I just hope that soon enough I will know if this is where I will be spending a couple years...or a few...or 10, 20 or 30. Time will soon tell and once I know...you will know.

Until next time..

Today I subbed...for my own position I guess?

November 29, 2012

When I sent the principal of the elementary school an email to confirm my start date as December 3, she wrote back and told me that she wanted me to start on November 28. So I said, ok and got myself ready. I met with HR this past Tuesday and was told that I couldn't start on the 28th because the gentleman leaving wasn't retiring until the 30th - and obviously they can't pay two people for the same position. Needless to say, I was sort of angry because I could have stayed home for another week. So, we called the principal to make sure she knew this couldn't happen and she had a solution - sign me up to sub for a few days and then start full time on Monday. She told me it was entirely up to me and I seriously contemplated coming home for the next 5 days. Then I spoke up and said "no, I will come in to sub Thursday and Friday." -- big step?? 

Anyway, today was ok. The kids are ok for now but unfortunately there is NO structure in the PE classroom. So when they come in, they don't know what's expected of them. That's going to be the hardest part I think.. trying to change what most of them have known for the past 4 or 5 years is going to be tough. It's extra tough when you start in the middle of the year as opposed to the beginning. Now I have to turn the clock back and go over rules and regs and expectations, then turn the clock forward again to pick up where they left off. Well I guess it's things like this that determine how you can adapt to a situation. 

This morning when I got there, I met with the principal and assistant principal who were very excited to see me. The assistant principal took me on a tour of the building, showed me each wing, and introduced me to some of the teachers. Many of them were very excited to hear about the "new PE teacher." Wanna know something even better? EVERYONE refers to "gym class" as PE class in this school.. I never thought I'd hear it. The gym is huge for an elementary school, I have my own office with a bathroom (and a shower), and it's not in the greatest shape but it's better than nothing. I asked if I could paint, they told me no but said I could put in a request to have a new coat put on (of the same boring color). The equipment room is A MESS. But luckily, the outgoing teacher hasn't used ANY of his budget this year so that gives me an opportunity to order some new stuff for this year and next. Good thing too because some of that equipment is about 100 years old...ok not really but it is kind of gross.

I was told to go in there and "just get through the day" today. That's what I did. And tomorrow I will do the same thing. Then this weekend, I'll prep myself for Monday.

Stay tuned..

It Will Get Easier... I Just Don't Know When

November 28, 2012

Well I've made it to day 3 but this morning still wasn't any easier. I spoke with a friend who teaches up in Baltimore and she told me that she cried just about everyday for her first year of teaching but that she was also very glad that she stuck it out because she loves her job and she loves living here. I know I will get to that point eventually. Time is all it's going to take.

I had an adventurous day today though I guess. I went up to UMBC to visit a friend and hung out for about 2 hours today. On my way back home, I found a Walmart and found a casino for my aunt who had been asking how close one was to where I was staying. Right now it's only an hour from where I'm staying but if I move to the town I want to live in, it will be 2 hours away. It was a pretty awesome looking casino though. It was called the Maryland Live! Casino - ever heard of it?

As I mentioned before, I have been taking some of this down time as an opportunity to explore the area and familiarize myself with a lot of places. My aunt told me that she's sure by the time January rolls around, I will know how to zip from one place to another with no problem. I still need to invest in a Garmin though. My poor cell phone..

When I was in Walmart tonight it was a totally different atmosphere from what I'm used to. I felt like I was in a foreign country - a lot of people in Walmart had backpacks and were listening to music through headphones... like it was a tourist attraction or something. I don't know how to really explain it, but it was very weird. And although this Walmart was pretty big, it was nothing like the Walmart at home. For as big as the building is everything seemed squished together. Anyway.. I had fast food for dinner again tonight because the people that I'm staying with work pretty late, and they told me that they don't cook - that won't stop me of course. I just grabbed a bite while I was near the casino and Walmart..found it to be easier.

I also had a really good conversation with one of my very best friends just a few minutes ago. And even though I cried a little on the phone with her she did say some things that helped to put a lot into perspective for me. I promised her (and everyone else) that I won't give up until I know for sure whether or not this is what I want to do. You can hold me to that ok?

Tomorrow and Friday I will sub for PE but the teacher I am replacing will not be there - obviously, or they wouldn't need a sub. I'm very nervous about it but was told to just go and get through the day. So I'm going in blind and will be winging it all day. Lucky for me, I can probably just tell the kids to run up and down the court a gazillion times and they will be alright with that. Actually, I am going to do some ice breaker activities and some activities that will allow me to try and learn their names. I will also set some rules in place and try to establish everything as MY classroom. We'll see how it goes. 

Look out for tomorrow's topic: My First Day as the New Kid in Town

Until then..

Day 2 in Maryland...still a bit of a doozie

November 27, 2012

Well, today was just a tiny bit better than yesterday. I woke up still very emotional about everything but managed to go about my day. I went to check out another apartment this morning and then met with HR to finalize all my paper work. I officially signed my contract with Prince George's County this afternoon around 4:00 PM. It was exciting but still kind of scary. I was told that tomorrow was going to be my first day but then found out today that I can't start until after the retirement of the gentleman leaving because they can't pay two people for the same position - which upset me because that meant I didn't need to come down until this coming weekend and could have potentially subbed all week. Then we spoke with the principal and she said she wanted to put me in as a sub for two days so I can get paid for being there. So instead of starting tomorrow and not getting paid for it, I will start on Thursday and Friday and will be paid as a sub for those two days. I officially start full time on December 3, 2012.... 3 days before I turn the big 2-7. Better than nothing I guess.

I tried to familiarize myself with the areas that I may potentially be living and working in - you know, trying to find your way around. I am really going to need to invest in a Garmin...using GPS on your cell phone really takes a hit on the battery. I'm still having a hard time talking to most people on the phone about everything going on because I still haven't gotten settled in. My mattress is in place and some of my stuff is unpacked but that's not officially being settled in. Once I have accepted the change that I am experiencing and can finally embrace it all, then I will be settled in. Talking to my Padre is still very hard because every time we go to hang up, I can hear in his voice that it seems like his whole world has crashed down around him. I think I'm the glue that holds our family together and now the glue has been pulled away from the project. But we're helping each other to get through it.

Just a couple hours ago, I got a phone call from one of my very best friends and when I answered it and said "Hello?" I heard this teeny tiny voice go, "Hi Shadon!" I said, "Hi little Lanster! How are you?" and she said, "good" and then we chatted for a while. She told me they were in the car going home. I asked her where they were coming from and she said, "going home." Then I said, "did you guys just have dinner?" and she said, "yeah." I said, "What did you have - wait, let me guess" and she said, "fench fies and chicken!" and I said "I knew it!" -- it was the CUTEST thing ever. Then Maria got on the phone and said Laney asked where I was (since I usually spend every night with them). Maria asked her if she wanted to call me and she said yeah. So as mentioned, it was really cute.

On a little better note, I did find out what I will be making and it's about $5,000 MORE than I had originally thought. So naturally, that made me feel a little better today as well, especially with the cost of living down here! The apartment I'm looking at runs $1500 a month (utilities not included). So hopefully things start to fall into place. I still feel a little empty inside because of the people I don't get to see on a daily basis anymore, but I know I'll eventually adjust to it. Plus I only have to be away for a few weeks before I head home for Christmas break. Actually, don't judge me, but I'm heading home next weekend (the 8th-9th) because my Padre and I put up the Christmas tree together every year and I'm not letting anything stand in the way of that! Plus my birthday is the 6th and I don't want to spend it in MD this year...just not ready for all that!

Another day down... 11 more days until my first trip home and 24 more until Christmas.. is it bad to have a countdown and I haven't even started working yet?

See you tomorrow.

First Night In Maryland - what a doozie..

November 26, 2012

Today was the day we all dreaded.. the day I officially moved to Maryland. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that I have finally found a job but this is going to be quite an adjustment. After crying for 2 days straight (and not getting much sleep), I was hoping I would have gotten it all out before I got here.. turns out I was wrong.

It all started yesterday... well, actually, I guess it started back at the beginning of the month when I decided to accept the position. That was the day I realized how very important a lot of the people in my life are to me. Not only was I leaving my family but I was also going to be leaving a GREAT network of people that I have come in contact with in the past 2 years of subbing. The thought of not being able to see those people everyday, (this is a shout out to all my teacher friends at Hermitage and Sharpsville) or even once in a while, hit me hard. But the hardest of all, was knowing I wasn't going to be able to see one of my very best friends everyday. Her and her family are like a second family to me. They have practically adopted me in and since October of 2011, we have spent just about every single day together.

It's rare to find the kind of bond that I have created with Maria and Steve and the 4 girls. I mean, they are a big part of my life. Don't get me wrong, I miss my family terribly as well... but the relationship you have with your family is NOTHING like the relationship you build with friends who mean so much to you. I cried like a baby last night at the thought of not being able to take little Hallie to dance at 5:30 and then taking Carlie and Natalie to dance tomorrow at 4 and 5! And trying to decide what we're having for dinner, or making random trips to Wal-Mart at midnight to find decor for the house, in which case you walk around with a basket on your head asking random customers which set of flowers they like better in the vase you have picked out. Or sitting around ragging on each other over whose football team is better (Steelers over Cowboys any day). And checking homework, or helping with reading and spelling assignments - all of this has been my life for the past year and some months.. and with the blink of an eye, all of that has changed.

My dad and brother were kind enough to bring me down here tonight. Everything was good until they were getting ready to leave. I guess it had been avoided all day throughout the car ride down. I knew what my dad wanted to ask me, but he didn't because it would have gotten too emotional. You know, in the 26 years I have been gracing the world with my presence, I have only ever seen my dad cry twice... that was when my grandparents died. Tonight just put the icing on the cake. I won't go into detail seeing as I know I will start to cry again but just know that I did not want them to leave me here...

As of right now all of that is no longer my home...at least not for a little while. I'm still not even sure that this is what I really want to do. I know I want to be a physical education teacher...or an athletic trainer... I'm just not sure yet if Maryland is where I want to do it. That song by Phillip Phillips has been my motto for the past month now.. you know, "Home".. the lyrics fit me perfectly right now. I can only promise one thing and that is that I will give it a shot down here. This has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to decide on. But I won't give up until I know one way or another if this really is for me.

Throughout the next few weeks, months, whatever, feel free to follow my blog. I think being able to express what I am feeling everyday on this new journey will really help me to adjust a little easier. Of course, I will continue to miss my family and friends so much every single day, but if I can keep telling myself that right now, it isn't permanent and doesn't have to be if I chose for it not to be, I think I will make it.

Well, I guess it's time for my head hit the pillow and my eyes to close. Tomorrow is another day.